Well, what if you brought nothing at all. Do you think you could stay sane?  That is the answer that you will never hear anyone say in response to that question. "I don't need anything." You have to bring something. The point I am making is that would just being able to talk to God be enough for you, or would you have to have entertainment. Would you be fine with having nothing?

Sometimes, we need to be fine with the desert. Jesus went into the desert for 40 days and he did it without even having food! Not only that but the devil was on his case big time with temptations I would have fallen into. Jesus fasted and prayed and after that time period he was ready to start his ministry.

So what happens in the desert that is so good? We come to the end of ourselves and are forced to deal with the demons that keep us under normal circumstances trying to silence them. We have to face our insecurities and deal with them. How scary is that? Now I wouldn't say that Jesus had demons to deal with, but we all have problems that we run from and try to suppress by having our constant drug of entertainment and busyness. The desert exposes those things and it is the best thing in the world for us.

Initiation Part 6

So that is only the beginning! Now I am dead. Where do I go now? This year is all about initiation and has been a fairly short discipleship period. Jesus took three years with his disciples. And many of the them deserted him after that time when the soldiers came to get him in the garden. It is not about getting it perfect, it is about living your life for God.

We have a lot of people searching for the abundant life, but they cannot receive it because they haven't died. How can you fill something that hasn't first been emptied? I believe this is why so many people don't pay attention to sermons in church and don't really walk in the power of God. They haven't died yet. They haven't come to the end of their pain, grief, and ego to give it all up to God. Pastors try to preach sermons of life when people really haven't died yet.

This is where true life begins. There are lessons to be learned after initiation, but those will be at another time. Death is the first step along the narrow path and probably why Jesus said so few people really find it.

I urge you to ask questions and seek God. Jesus said come to me all you who are weary and I will give you rest. It takes a lot of energy, time, and money to maintain our ego, but just let it go. You will find a peace in Christ that just consumes you. You will find God's love.

So now that we are ready to embark on the road that leads through fire. What is the way? How do I get to the other side. And what Is the fire?

The fire that I am going through right now is not having any modern comforts such as computer, Ipod, or even electricity sometimes. We are not in a stone age society right now and I could easily go get an Ipod or watch a movie if there is time, but I know that this is right where God needs me so I can listen to what he wants for my life. I have been learning to stop and wait upon the Lord and it has been a very fruitful time. I know that when I do get a computer and stuff in the United States, I will not let it become an idol.

So what do I mean by it being an idol? Well it is so easy to entertain ourselves to death. We don't like having free time in our schedules and always like being busy. Why are we so afraid of silence? I think it is because in those times we can be lonely. We don't know how to listen to God and so we feel empty and that is the worst feeling in the world. So we go right back to partying, planning trips, and eat fast food a lot because we are so busy.

So where am I? I am in silence. I am reflecting. I am not busy, but I am not alone. I worship the living God and He comes and meets with me. He helps me through the trials that come every day.

So what are the lessons to be learned in the time of initiation? Rirchard Rhor names five.

1. Life is hard.
2. You are not that important.
3. Your life is not about you.
4. You are not in control.
5. You are going to die.

Whoa! what a hit to our ego! What a proof that we have an ego. I love being in control. Isn't that what self help books teach us? Always be in control. The way to get ahead is just try harder.

We are all a part of the same race on this planet. We are all humans, but we are always trying to get ahead of our fellow man. Why are we always trying to be in control. The same is true of nations. Why do we go to war? Why do different social groups despise each other? We all want that control and that is intoxicating!

Here is the better way: Service to others. Service to the common good. If you are looking only to better yourself then you are selfish and will become more and more unhappy because you will never be satisfied with whatever you have.

Once these lessons are learned death is not so scary. We have overcome our own ego and entitlements so that we are content. What a peaceful feeling it is to be content. Wher I am right now I don't need anything else. I am happy where I am at!

Oh yeah, I live two houses down from the neighborhood dump. There are a few sacred cows that walk around here and people don't really clean up their crap. The house run off water runs along the sides of the streets here and there is trash all in it. So sometimes when we walk down the road, things look and smell disgusting. So how can I say I am content with these conditions? It is because I am finding my validation in my sonship to God. He is my strength. I am not afraid of death because I have already died. But how painful that death is... And the life aftwerwards is worth every second of it.

We need men of action. We need real men. These blogs have been and are an adaptation of Richard Rhors book Adam's Return. In it he talks about male initiation and I am trying to convey some main points so you can see some of the things that he is talking about and some of the things we have learned throughout the year.

We are all being initiated here on the race and it is a painful process as old habits are abandoned and we find our identity more and more in Christ. We are REALLY dying. So how do we die?

First we need a desire to change. For so long life had been monotonous for me and lacking real meaning. Even though I had a good job I knew there was more. I was comfortable, but I wanted to be challenged. It was kind of like a lack of direction and I was tired of it. The AA phrase I think is the best. You have to be sick and tired of being sick and tired. Then and only then will you have the desire to go through the fire to get your healing. But it is there and worth every minute of the pain it takes to get there.

Second we need to have a good attitude. When a group of 27 people are living in 24/7 community there is going to be a lot of emotions, complaining, and bad attitudes sometimes. We are learning to have grace for people in these times. You are going to be in pain too. It hurts going through a change. I wonder if this is how the butterfly feels as it is being transformed in the cocoon. That is kind of like us. THe old is dying off and the we are becoming new but totally different.

Third we need to have a lack of baggage. We need to let things go. We all suffer from past hurts but the way we get over them is to talk them out with people. That is why I am so glad we have mentors and debriefs. We often get stressed out during the month and it is good to get over everything by having people who care about us talk things out.

Friday was independance day here in India. Yesterday was the day that India won its independance from British rule. Ghandi is one of those great men of history who suffered so much for a bigger goal. He was persecuted and suffered a lot for the greater good. WOuld you do that? Would you live your life for something that you could not keep? Would you sacrifice a comfortable life to do something really great in this world. So here is my recomendation for you.

Let go of your ego and any complaints you have about God and follow Jesus Christ. You will find that your life will change and he will complete those longings in your heart you haven't been able to fill any other way.

Forget about having a comfortable life. Who cares how much money you make if you hate your job. Do something ambitious. Do something that benefits others. Life is very short and working just for money or to pay the bills isn't really doing much with this life.

Commit to working through and conquering the pain in your life. It's going to hurt immenseley, but you will be free! Why do you hold on to it? Does it make you who you are? It really is just holding you down and keeping you from hearing God speak to you. There is peace on the other side.

Finally you will find love from God and you will be able to love others. It all starts with Him and ends with Him. You will find love joy and peace in Him - he will complete you.

Jesus says "Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit" Matthew 28:19

I would like to clarify my last blog and build on it. Sometimes I can say things without explaining them well, and they can be misunderstood. Ben and Chuck asked about being born again and asked how long does this process takes. I am learning more and more that I do not have all the answers. When Nicodemus comes to Jesus all he has is questions. Now Nicodemus was one of the most educated Jewish teachers of his time and he still asked Jesus questions showing that he was open to Jesus' message of good news and was teachable. His heart was open! This is how we should always approach God.

How long does it take to become a Christian?

I don't know, but I do know a lot of people who have said they were Christians and then went back to a bad lifestyle. I know a lot of hypocrites in the church. They say they have been born again and go out on Friday nights to the club get drunk and do all sorts of stuff. I know a lot of people who say they are Christians and are mean people too. So what do you think the world thinks of this? They think that Christians are fake, and for some people that is true.

The life of a true follower has the following signs - they love people. They are bold. They do good to people. They are selfless. This is a person who has experienced the love of God and is learning to cast their cares on him.

I don't want to answer the question above because I will only be teaching a formula and God is so much bigger than any formula that I can give. A better question is Are you living for God? Have you accepted his son Jesus Christ and falling more in love with him every day. Are you a part of his body? If you are you have found true life like this then arguing about semantics and phrases really loses its meaning, at least it has for me.

I love Jesus Christ and hope you too have found the joy in Him. Only he can set you free from the pain, anxiety, and regret in your life. Jesus said he came to give us life in abundance and I am proof of that although sometimes a poor reflection. My job is only to point the direction to Him.

Follow in Jesus footsteps and you will find true life.

"Then Jesus said to them all, 'If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.'" Luke 9:23

In my last blog I talked about how we need to die to become fully alive. I do not consider myself to have made it or died all the way. I am in the process of becoming more like Christ, more like our loving Father. This being said, there is a point at which you can look back and say I am not like that anymore, or I am different now and am becoming more free with every day.

If I were an artist and could paint beautifully, the last blog would be one painted in broad colorful strokes, but we need to find more detail and more practical applications for finding the new life in store for us. How do we get there? I will do my best to paint the picture of how I have gotten here and I will try to paint the picture of Jesus for he is the center of our faith. My goal is not to try to convince you of some fact. My goal is to bring Jesus to you in what I say and write so that he may speak to you personally and you can know him. I am only an artist.

For death to not matter to us, we have to realize that we are truly children of the living God, once we have been enlightened by God himself. For the last several decades the church in America has talked about the fact that we need to be "born again." This is most often viewed as an emotional epiphany of some sort and once this is obtained, you are basically home free and have a ticket to heaven. The more I grow and learn, the more that I see this is only half true. And a half truth that allows you to just have one experience without a change of heart, attitude, and life direction is no truth at all.

The phrase "born again" is a rather new term in that it originated in the southern USA in the mid 1900s. It seems to be a rather selfish term as WE are the ones who have done something great and are rewarded for it. God is the pursuer and he is yearning for a relationship with us. He is the one who has done all the work. Having one emotional experience with God is not enough, we need to walk with him and learn from him. This is not hard because his yoke is light, but it is so easy to slip back into our materialistic American mind-set. (I am preaching to myself here too.)

A term that is far older and I think better is "I was seized by a great affection." God is coming after us and it is only our own selfish desires that get in the way. To live an abundant life we need to crucify these material and carnal desires. For me that has meant giving up my laptop, IPod, and a comfortable lifestyle. I am finding my validation not in comfort, but in dependance upon God.

So back to the beginning, to be unaware of who I am will only leave me wandering in the dark with no goals and only temporal impulses. When I found my identity, I found a purpose bigger than me and bigger than what I can accomplish.

I found the Kingdom of God.

The kingdom of God is not in a building, a synogogue, a mosque, or any other holy place. It is His people that I have learned to live with and love (although that can be hard at times). We are not yet perfect, but we are becoming so.

You see, I am a son of God and he loves me. I am his child. I am God's heir. I am seated with Christ in heavenly realms. I have an eternal inheritance. Nothing can defeat me because God is on my side.

Being enlightened is just becoming aware of these truths not only in your head but your heart too. This is where we start running into problems. REAL problems. We have all experience pain and loss in our life because life is hard. Without a guide we will become more caloused the older we grow. The only thing that can break through this calousness is a perfect love and that only originates in the heart of our father God.

Sometimes this love can shine through people or events in our life, but it only comes from one place...